单身日记第 15 课

I can't believe I did that. 难以置信我会这样做

Five weeks later. 五周以后
Weight: 4, 000 pounds. 体重，4000磅
Am enjoying a relationship with two men simultaneously. 我跟两个男人同时保持联系
The first is called Ben, the other, Jerry. 一个叫本 一个叫杰瑞
Number of current boyfriends: zero. 当前男友人数，零
Number of calls from ex-boyfriend: 前男友来电次数

You have absolutely no messages. “你根本没有留言”
Not a single one. Not even from your mother. “一条也没有 连你妈的也没有”

Hello? - Hello, darling. - 喂？ - 你好，亲爱的
You haven't forgotten our lunch date? - [Bridget] Of course I have. - 你没忘了我们约好的午餐吧？ - 当然忘了
I'm suicidally depressed. - Don't be silly, Bridget. - 我正处于致命的沮丧之中 - 别傻了，布里奇特
Meet me at Debenhams at twelve o'clock. 12点在德本汉姆百货门口
Mum... I thought we were going to have something to eat. 妈，我以为我们是来吃饭的
Patience, please. I've got a big surprise for you, darling. 耐心点，我要给你一个惊喜

What? - Don't say "what", say "pardon". - 什么？ - 不要说“什么”，要说“请原谅”
Tra-la! 闪亮登场！
What do you think? - Oh, my God. - 感觉如何？ - 老天啊
Daddy and I are getting married. 你爸和我打算结婚
You're already married. - We're doing it again. - 你们已经结婚了 - 我们打算再结一次 Reaffirming our vows. You are going to be a bridesmaid, 重温当年的海誓山盟你做我们的伴娘
and absolutely everything is going to be lavender. 所有的一切都要装扮成淡紫
And when I say everything, I mean... 我是说，全部的一切
...everything. 一切的一切…

Oh, God, I'm never going to get married 老天有眼，我还没指望结婚呢
and my sodding mum and dad are doing it twice. 我那讨厌的爸妈竟然要结第二次了

New York: the Big, Juicy Apple. 纽约，一个又大又甜的苹果
The city that never sleeps with the same person two nights running. 喜新厌旧，充满一夜春宵的城市
My favourite place in America, where Sex And The City isn't just a programme,美国是我最爱的地方 在此，性和城市不仅仅是走过场
it's a promise. 而是一种承诺

Sorry. 抱歉
Oh, cheer up, misery guts. I have good news for you. 打起精神来，可怜虫 我有个好消息要告诉你
Sure, right. 好吧
What's the angle? I interview some rocket scientist 又想怎样？ 让我去采访航天科学家
while he looks through my skirt with X-ray glasses? 而他则用X光眼镜透视我的内衣？ No. 不
Although that is a bloody good idea. 当然了这也是个不错的建议
No. The fact is The Smooth Guide is doing very well with women, 实际上是铁嘴走天下的节目 很受女性欢迎
but the network want us to cast a wider net and use a Smooth Guide-ess. 但是上头为了提高收视率 要求我们再安排一位女铁嘴
Me? With Daniel Cleaver? 我？和丹尼尔·克莱弗？
It's the next logical step. I think Thailand is first on the list. 按照计划这是第二步 我觉得泰国会非常合适
No. I won't do it. 不，我不想参加