单身日记第 24 课

Bijjit? 布里鸡？
Just a few tiny leaving presents. No luxuries. 我的一点心意，临别礼物 没有奢侈品

If you want something smooth on your wall, 如果你想要用油画装饰新家
you could do worse than John Currin. 约翰·柯林是不二之选
He is about the only contemporary painter who can paint. 他无疑是当代最为杰出的画家之一
There's usually something interesting and allegorical, 他的作品富有趣味，也充满隐喻 plus of course, there is a very high perv quotient. 当然了，作品中也通常 隐含着他不同寻常的性取向
Did you see her? - Cut. Cut it. - 你看到她了吗？ - 停，停机
Sorry, everyone, sorry. It's my stalker. 抱歉，各位，这家伙是冲我来的

Fuck off, Darcy, some people have jobs to do. 离我远点，达西 我正在工作
Did you see her surrounded by police, dogs, handcuffs? 她被警犬和警察包围，铐上手铐的时候 你看到了吗？
Come on, she's a big girl, she can take care of herself. 别来这套了，她又不是小孩子 完全能自己料理的
I'm only going to ask you one more time. Did you see her? 我再问你最后一遍 你当时看到了吗？
You're only gonna ask me one more time? 你只是问问而已？
You haven't got your wig on now, dear. - I'll take that as a yes. - 亲爱的，你该带上你的律师假发 - 我将之视为肯定的回答

Yes, I did see her. 没错，我是看到了
I thought she was smuggling seashells, or mangoes. 我以为她捎带了些违禁的…贝壳，芒果什么的
Right. 很好
Right, good. Will you step outside, please? 很好，借一步说话好吗？
Oh, no, it's not possible. 不行，决不
Darcy, do you have any idea what century we actually live in? 达西，我们都是现代的文明人了
Are you gonna step outside or am I gonna have to drag you? 你是要自己出来还是要我动手？
I think you're gonna have to drag me. 我想只能劳您大驾了

OK, I left her at the airport. I shouldn't have done that. 我把一个人留在了机场 这是我的错
But she bumped into Jed herself 但是是她自己找上了那个杰德
and I didn't fucking well seduce her, all right? 我又没对她怎样，明白吗？
You didn't? - There's something wrong with her. - 你没有？ - 她那天不太正常
She's gone all frigid. 情绪低落，对我很冷淡
I spent the night with a gorgeous Thai girl. 我跟一个漂亮的泰国妞过了一夜
Who in fact turned out to be a gorgeous Thai boy. 而她找了个漂亮的泰国小伙子
Satisfied? 满意了？

Yes. 是的
Thank you. 谢谢
You know what, mate? 你知道吗，老同学
If you're so obsessed with Bridget Jones, why don't you just marry her? 如果你真的对布里奇特·琼斯那么着迷 为什么不跟她结婚呢？
'Cause then she'd definitely shag me. 难道是因为她和我上过床？

What was it like? - How did you survive? 事情怎样？你是怎样过来的？
Any girl who's been single in London knows how to handle herself. 伦敦所有的单身女性 都能自己照顾自己
Darling! Will you be going back? - 宝贝！ - 你还会再回去吗？
Sorry I didn't write. I've just been so busy. 抱歉，我没有回信 我实在是太忙了 Hello, darling. You look lovely. 你好，宝贝，你看起来很漂亮
Skinny, but lovely. - Oh, thank you. - 瘦了，不过还是很漂亮 - 非常感谢
Oh, it's good to be home. 回家的感觉真好
Ciggy? - No, no, thanks. - 要烟吗？ - 不用了，谢谢
I've given up again. - Shame. I find them very useful. - 我又戒了 - 别现眼了，抽烟很管用呢
I take great comfort in the fact they might kill me before things get worse. 世事一日不如一日 抽烟能让我早点归天，真是感激不尽